A new year, a new hope?

Happy New Year!

I haven't felt like writing much over the past few months.  Clearly.  And, I'm not sure how much I feel like writing today, rather than feeling drawn to work out some of the thoughts roaming in this head of mine...

I won't lie to you internet, 2012 was a rough year.  Suffice it to say, I shed more tears last year than in any other year to date.  Don't get me wrong, my life is not that terrible.  But, when it's your head and heart that ache and groan over things that are and the things that are not, it matters a lot to you...and it is hard.

AND, there were some really great and really fun things about the year that I won't forget because they have left lasting imprints on my heart, and hopefully my life.  But overall, it was a hard year, especially emotionally.  Out of the hurt and darkness came some really good time with the Lord.  I have definitely learned a lot about the presence of the Lord and what it means to meet him there.

I was very ready to put 2012 behind me and hopeful for what 2013 would bring - it had to be better than what I'd been wading through the months.  There was something in particular I'd hoped to resolve before the clock struck twelve.  It seemed possible to do so, but ended up not happening.  And the first week of this new year has brought a few more disappointments.  One bigger than the others, but when you're already tender, things that would normally be brushed off feel more like a boulders you have to shove up a hill.

Wow.  Is this the most uplifting thing you've ever read, or what?  But, I'm better at being honest that blowing sunshine.  Alas, I want things to be different, to be better - in my heart if not my circumstances.

I picked Isaiah 43:19 to be my verse for 2013.  "Behold, I am doing a NEW thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Don't you just love it?  Aren't you desperate for it to be true?  I am.