Learning to Fly?

I feel raw.

I had a GREAT morning yesterday.  Woke up, watched some Grey's on Netflix.  Ate breakfast.  Spent really good time with the Lord in prayer.  Read in Mark.  Felt the presence of the Lord with me.  Showered, dressed, and drove to church.

And somewhere on that drive, I burst into tears...and fought them throughout church.  And truly, it was an incredible time of worship.  The Spirit of God was in the worship.  The sermon was incredible -- empowering, challenging, and life giving.  I was with people I love.  And still, I fought the tears.  Not even fully sure why they were present.

I feel raw.

There are a lot of circumstances I'd like to be different.  However, I see the Lord working.  And I am thankful for many things.  And I know it's a season.  And the Lord uses the hard stuff.  And all of the things I would tell a friend in a rough place.

I know those things.  But my heart can't seem to bear it all.  And yet, one foot in front of the other.  And sometimes tears accompany the forward walking.  Sometimes laughter.

And then, I hear something a friend is going through and my heart literally wants to crack in half for them.

I certainly think I'm learning (yet again) that there is much I don't have control over.  Today's Jesus Calling reminded me that, "You will not find my peace by engaging in excessive planning: attempting to control what will happen to you in the future.  That is a commonly practiced form of unbelief."

What's the balance of being honest about where you are and sharing truth?  I'm still looking for it...

Perhaps completely unrelated, this song came on Pandora and hit home.  I am digging the live version.