bearing.

what does it mean to bear?

several times in this season (of heartache and darkness and moving forward, yet not really knowing where to)  i have heard the Lord say to me, "this is preparing you to bear more."

as i say to him, "no, lord.  no more.  i cannot take it."  i am reminded of his words to me.  they wash over me reminding me that all things are purposeful and i don't want to be a lightweight anyway.  (ok, sometimes that seems super appealing.)

but what does bearing mean?

i immediately think of what bonhoeffer; he said, "Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). Thus the law of Christ is a law of bearing. Bearing means forbearing and sustaining...The Christian must suffer and endure the brother. It is only when he is a burden that another person is really a brother and not merely an object to be manipulated...It is, first of all, the freedom of the other person that is a burden to the Christian... The freedom of the other person includes all that we mean by a person’s nature, individuality, endowment. It also includes his weaknesses and oddities, which are such a trial to our patience, everything that produces frictions, conflicts, and collisions among us...Then, there is the abuse of that freedom that becomes a burden for the Christian. In sin, fellowship with God and with his brother are broken... To cherish no contempt for the sinner but rather to prize the privilege of bearing him means not to have to give him up as lost, to be able to accept him, to preserve fellowship with him through forgiveness...The service of forgiveness is rendered by one to the others daily. It occurs, without words, in the intercessions for one another,,. He who is bearing others knows that he himself is being borne."

it is one of my favorite quotes of all time.  favorite, but rarely used.  i've held on to it like a treasure and shared it only a few times.  for few people are worthy of receiving it.  

so bearing.  we are to bear one another.  community.  the church.  that's what it is all about.  rather, it should be.  we read it in the book of acts, but many times we don't live it out like we are created and instructed to do.

yesterday i was spending time in the presence of the lord and was yet again reminded of a favorite passage.

matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

and it occurred to me, perhaps it always should have: bearing more isn't about taking more on.  it isn't going through more.  it isn't enduring more hardship.  

bearing more is about handing more over to jesus.  

hard circumstances, hard seasons, hard whatever often times draws us nearer to jesus.  while we lament the hard, we are grateful there is one getting us through it.  bearing more is taking the yoke of jesus more and emptying myself of the notions that i have to do it on my own.  i think the lord is essentially saying to me, "this is preparing you to know me more, entrust me more, and watch me take over the things you used to think you had to handle on your on."

and that is a better thought to bear.