I'd been reading through Genesis lately and it's been interesting...parts of it make me want to throw up. Parts of it make me overflowing with gratitude for who the Lord is. I just finished reading it yesterday and while I was in the middle of reading about Joseph, I couldn't help but be amazed once again at the things he went through. His life and hardships made mine look like a cake walk.
He was the favored son of his father. Yet hated by his brothers.
How often is this the case? The ones that God seems to love and favor the most, who are especially gifted, are so often the ostracized ones. The ones who others love to hate, be jealous of, and try to bring down.
Though because of who he was, he was able to rise above the crazy harsh circumstances and live above reproach. An incredible testimony. An incredible challenge to me.
I've read his story several times before, but this struck me the hardest:
Genesis 41:51-52
Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh. “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my hardship and all my father's house.” The name of the second he called Ephraim, “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.”
I was struck by Ephraim's name. The fruit of affliction. Wow...
What is the fruit of my affliction? I've been blessed to be a witness to some of it in the past few weeks. Meeting with a girl who wrestles with depression. Re-living tragic death of a co-worker. Praying for someone who's dreams are confusing. Giving prophetic words for someone I had a strained relationship with. All of them reminders of where I have been and where the Lord has brought me.
Later on, Ephraim receives a greater blessing than Manasseh, even though he is the younger son.
Psalm 60:7, 108:8
Gilead is mine; Manasseh is mine; Ephraim is my helmet; Judah is my scepter.
Ephraim is referred to as a helmet in the Psalms. I love that. Helmets protect our heads. What greater way to protect our heads - our thoughts - than to remember all that the Lord does in affliction. There is fruit! To remember who the Lord is! He is so good that even in the lands of affliction, he makes us fruitful. Beautiful, mysterious, perfect.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Out of the ground
A few weeks ago I was at our Wednesday night service. We have people who paint during the service and someone painted a flower - you could see the flower above and below the ground. And it struck me.
Ephesians 3:
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
To be rooted in something...
A plant is rooted in the ground. The ground is dark. And cold. And dreary.
It's not pretty down there...but it's where the plant is fed and grows.
And after a while, it sprouts up and produces a flower, a fruit, leaves, something.
The dark times can be nasty and lonely. It can seem like it's a worthless time. BUT it is needed. It is where so much growth happens. It makes you more beautiful. When you spring forth out of the darkness, you bear fruit for the world to see. And the time underground becomes worth it.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Transforming love
A while back, someone asked me, "Can you share with me a few sentences (or more or less) of how God's love transformed you...something specific."
When one thinks about god's love and its transforming power, I'm not sure that pain is the first thing that comes to mind. And yet, the greatest act of god's love was shown on the cross; could anything be more painful? Jesus endured extreme physical pain, yet greater still was the emotional and spiritual pain he endured being separated from his father for three days. What pain the Father must have felt orchestrating this act? And the result? The greatest love and act of sacrifice one can ever know and experience. As the earth and heavens shook, as the veil was torn, as Jesus conquered death, something inexplicably beautiful and mysterious was born. We continue to reap the benefits today.
For about the past year and a half, I've been in a wilderness season, filled with heartache, pain, frustration, and lots of other things that human nature instinctively tries to fight and flee from. In the tears I have shed and the pain I have wrestled with, I have known a love far greater than I knew before. The Lord met me there, and continues to do so. In the moments of stillness where I seek His face for comfort, He comes. In the moments when I am a brute beast lashing out at Him because I do not understand, He is there - taking it all in...and in time, bringing me back to peace. In the times I want to walk away from Him, He's given me the strength to worship and praise Him.
No doubt I have a very long way to go. But, for me the love of god has been manifested in presence. His presence has enabled me to soften, to see others in a new light. To be more compassionate to their pain. To pray more expectantly. To be more gracious. As I experience more of God's love, He makes me want to love others more - to love them better. That looks different in different situations and sometimes I get it wrong. I am reminded that, "to whom much is given, much is required." As he pours out his tender mercy and love to me, He's showing me how to pour it out to those around me.
Monday, March 31, 2014
shake it up!
As we drove from Chinandega to Masaya, I asked The Lord to show me where in His word, he wanted me to read. I needed to be refreshed and I needed to see more of the Lord. I heard, “Haggai. ... two.” Really? I was sure I heard wrong, but I went there anyway.
Haggai 2:4-9
Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel, declares the LORD. Be strong, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the LORD. Work, for I am with you, declares the LORD of hosts, according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt. My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not. For thus says the LORD of hosts: Yet once more, in a little while, I will shake the heavens and the earth and the sea and the dry land. And I will shake all nations, so that the treasures of all nations shall come in, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD of hosts. The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts. The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the LORD of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the LORD of hosts.’”
I was struck at how having the world shake, allowed movement from glory to glory and brought peace. Life isn’t always easy or fun, but it has purpose. The Lord allured Israel into the wilderness (Hosea 2:14-15) in order to restore her.
When the Lord shakes us up, He does so for a reason. He allures us into the wilderness and our worlds get shaken. We have to give our gold and silver back over to the lord. We have to stand firm in the Lord. It's not always easy and it doesn't always feel good. But we see the greater glory of the Lord. But we are filled with peace.
Sometimes a shake up is just what we need...
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
When the earth quakes
I was in Nicaragua March 1-9. A place that has part of my heart. This trip was different, yet one of my favorites. The first night we were there, we woke up to shaking. Yep! An earthquake! A 6.4 on the scale in fact. And while I was up the first thought that came to mind was when Paul was in prison.
Acts 16:25-40
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's bonds were unfastened. When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.” And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God.
But when it was day, the magistrates sent the police, saying, “Let those men go.” And the jailer reported these words to Paul, saying, “The magistrates have sent to let you go. Therefore come out now and go in peace.” But Paul said to them, “They have beaten us publicly, uncondemned, men who are Roman citizens, and have thrown us into prison; and do they now throw us out secretly? No! Let them come themselves and take us out.” The police reported these words to the magistrates, and they were afraid when they heard that they were Roman citizens. So they came and apologized to them. And they took them out and asked them to leave the city. So they went out of the prison and visited Lydia. And when they had seen the brothers, they encouraged them and departed.
And this became my hope and my prayer for the week: that the prisoners would be set free. Looking back, I am in awe of what the Lord did. He started our week with an earthquake. And he did set many free! People in our team were set free. Like the jailer, many people in Nicaragua met Jesus for the first time that week. While I'm not sure if we washed any wounds physically, we washed them with words of comfort and healing. We washed their hunger with food. We washed souls with the hope that only Christ can bring. And, as Paul knew he what he deserved as a Roman citizen, I believe people learned their true identity and thus can start living in the freedom of belonging to Christ, rather than being enslaved to sin.
What an honor to be a part of it! What a joy!
Acts 16:25-40
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's bonds were unfastened. When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.” And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God.
But when it was day, the magistrates sent the police, saying, “Let those men go.” And the jailer reported these words to Paul, saying, “The magistrates have sent to let you go. Therefore come out now and go in peace.” But Paul said to them, “They have beaten us publicly, uncondemned, men who are Roman citizens, and have thrown us into prison; and do they now throw us out secretly? No! Let them come themselves and take us out.” The police reported these words to the magistrates, and they were afraid when they heard that they were Roman citizens. So they came and apologized to them. And they took them out and asked them to leave the city. So they went out of the prison and visited Lydia. And when they had seen the brothers, they encouraged them and departed.
And this became my hope and my prayer for the week: that the prisoners would be set free. Looking back, I am in awe of what the Lord did. He started our week with an earthquake. And he did set many free! People in our team were set free. Like the jailer, many people in Nicaragua met Jesus for the first time that week. While I'm not sure if we washed any wounds physically, we washed them with words of comfort and healing. We washed their hunger with food. We washed souls with the hope that only Christ can bring. And, as Paul knew he what he deserved as a Roman citizen, I believe people learned their true identity and thus can start living in the freedom of belonging to Christ, rather than being enslaved to sin.
What an honor to be a part of it! What a joy!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Paula & the greatest bus ride ever
I know, I know, it has been ages since I've blogged. Something happened to me yesterday afternoon that I have to share. Seriously, to date, I think it is the coolest thing I've been able to be a part of!
I park in the Hagood lot, which is about a 10 minute walk from my office. It was nice out, but I was feeling lazy and wanted to read my book, so I decided to take the bus. I got to the bus stop just as a CARTA bus was pulling away. I started to run to the bus, hoping the driver would see me and stop. She did! I got on the bus.
Elizabeth Ann: Thank you! (sat down; almost sat back, but moved to sit up front)
Paula: You’re welcome. It’s funny because I just had a dream about this.
EA: What do you mean? Can you tell me about it?
P: Well, I was driving the bus. There was a Coca-Cola truck across the street (there was in real life) and no one was on the bus. I got to the stop and no one was there, but then someone was running to get on and I stopped for them. How crazy is that?
EA: I actually just took a class on dream interpretation.
P: Oh, girl! Interpret my dream!
EA: Ok...I’m new at this. But modes of transportation usually represent your life, especially your personal ministry. Busses carry more people (because they are bigger) in the ministry. And that’s your job. I think you are willing to slow down and stop for other people to get on and come alongside you in ministry.
P: Amen! Yes! OMG. This job is my ministry! It really is! I get to talk to people and love them. And a lot of homeless people get on the bus. And sometimes I buy them food. And I had a boy that sells those roses tell me he was hungry and I bought him food. And one time the Lord told me to get food and give all the money I had to this person ... there was even a $20 bill on the sidewalk and I gave it all to him and the $20.
EA: Wow. That is so awesome. I love feeding homeless people, too. I do it Sunday’s downtown.
P: On Meeting Street? Yes, I’ve seen you!
EA: Yes!
(I’d gotten $10 out for something that day and I rarely have cash.)
EA: I want you to have this $10 and use it to buy food for someone next time.
EA: I want you to have this $10 and use it to buy food for someone next time.
P: OMG thank you! (Almost cried.)
(She is going through the other bus stops so we can keep talking!)
P: Ok, I have another dream for you...I have this dream with a school of fish. Every time I have the dream, someone in my family gets pregnant. But, recently, I had the dream and it was different. I was in it and I caught a fish. ... I want a baby so badly. I’ve had four miscarriages and the last time it was so awful, so painful, I literally wanted to die. And the Lord is so good because within that week I found a stray dog. I’m a nurturer and I took him home. He was really thin and sick and I nursed him to health. That was two years ago and we still have Chaz!
EA: I love that. Ok, here’s what I think your dream means. For you personally, in your dreams, fish represent babies - so I think you will get a baby, but differently than your family. AND you got the dog! (Meaning it could be a dog and not an actual baby.)
EA: Do you still want a baby?
P: Yes!
EA: Can I pray for you?
P: Yes!
EA: I believe the Lord can heal you of infertility. One of my best friends (Rennie) was healed after 10 years! He can do it! Prayed that she would be healed of infertility and the Lord would bless her with a baby.
EA: I believe the Lord can heal you of infertility. One of my best friends (Rennie) was healed after 10 years! He can do it! Prayed that she would be healed of infertility and the Lord would bless her with a baby.
P: Thank you! You have a calling on your life! You’re anointed! I could feel that! You have the gift of healing, don’t you?
EA: Thank you! Yes, I think that is part of my gifting.
P: Ok, I have something else to tell you, but I’m going to pull over and get out of the bus.
EA: Ok. Haha.
P: One reason I want a baby so badly is because there are a lot of generational curses and sin in my family. And I really believe they will stop with this baby.
EA: You know, Paula, those things can stop with YOU.
P: (Eyes big as saucers) Really?
EA: Yes! What kind of curses?
P: People have been after my family. A lot of witchcraft. And I was molested by an uncle. And I was molested by my brother. And then he molested my cousin. And my mom didn’t listen and she wouldn’t get a babysitter but left me alone with them. But the Lord is so good! One time three men came in and were going to attack me BUT they didn’t lay a hand on me. And so much of my life I have been alone, but the Lord has been with me! And my mother in law doesn’t want us to have a baby even though we’ve been married 18 years. She lived with us for 2 years and I caught her putting stuff in my food to try to prevent me from having a baby {I, Elizabeth Ann, think some kind of black magic.} And it broke my heart; I worked through it and forgave her but it hurt me a lot. And I used to hear from the holy spirit all the time, but haven’t in a long time. And I have been going to a fertility specialist; I’m 45, but have the reproductive system of someone in her 20’s. The doctors are shocked and all of my tests came back great. In fact, I went to the IVF doctor today and he said everything looked really good! Hopefully I can get pregnant (via IVF) next month. So that makes sense that my family gets pregnant one way and I may get pregnant this way.
EA: Ok, let’s pray! Prayed that she would be filled and anointed with the Holy Spirit. That generational curses would be broken and cut off! (She could feel it break and body jerked/made a sound when I prayed that.) Prayed that the curses would be replaced with God’s truth. That wounds from childhood would be healed. That she would know she is royalty. That the Lord would make ways in the wilderness, streams in the desert, and restore her to the ways of her youth. That she would be blessed with a baby! That her marriage would be blessed! That I would see her again and she’d have a baby.
P: Thank you! I could feel it! My heart feels better! And the enemy didn’t want us to meet. He didn’t want me to pick you up. But I did. We were supposed to meet!
EA: OMG I’m so glad we did! This was the best bus ride ever.
ELATED! FILLED WITH JOY! Many hugs. She was crying.
I had to share this because that is the wonder and beauty of the God I serve. Frankly, I needed this encounter as much as she did. So blessed!
Friday, October 11, 2013
Walking through fire and not burned
Does anyone read this blog anymore? Well, for the one or two of you that may...here is my thought for the day:
I have loved Isaiah 43 for a long time. Especially the first part. Most especially verse 2 (bolded).
But the Lord showed me something new this week. It probably helps that I heard a teaching on living out of your spirit, rather than your soul or body. BUT I'll take the renewing of my mind any time! Anyway, I would read that I would pass through waters and I would not be overwhelmed. And that I would walk through fire and not be burned. Well, this past year+ has shown me what walking through waters and fire looks like. Or, experiences of it, as everyone's waters and fires look different.
But, I was overwhelmed and I was burned. It hurts. It's hard. There aren't usually easy ways out.
BUT GOD showed me something different this week. My soul (emotions, thoughts, etc.) and my body may be overwhelmed and burned BUT my spirit isn't/doesn't have to be! My spirit that resides with the Lord and is in communion with Him truly has the ability to go through anything and come out unscathed. What a joy and gift! What a blessing! What a beautiful picture of the gospel to share with others!
Our circumstances can suck. Financial problems. Health problems. Broken hearts. Loved ones who make pool decisions affecting you. All of it. But our spirits can remain steadfast and we can rise above them. Hard? Yes. Impossible? Not with the Lord! Worth it? Absolutely!
I have loved Isaiah 43 for a long time. Especially the first part. Most especially verse 2 (bolded).
But now thus says the Lord,
But the Lord showed me something new this week. It probably helps that I heard a teaching on living out of your spirit, rather than your soul or body. BUT I'll take the renewing of my mind any time! Anyway, I would read that I would pass through waters and I would not be overwhelmed. And that I would walk through fire and not be burned. Well, this past year+ has shown me what walking through waters and fire looks like. Or, experiences of it, as everyone's waters and fires look different.
But, I was overwhelmed and I was burned. It hurts. It's hard. There aren't usually easy ways out.
BUT GOD showed me something different this week. My soul (emotions, thoughts, etc.) and my body may be overwhelmed and burned BUT my spirit isn't/doesn't have to be! My spirit that resides with the Lord and is in communion with Him truly has the ability to go through anything and come out unscathed. What a joy and gift! What a blessing! What a beautiful picture of the gospel to share with others!
Our circumstances can suck. Financial problems. Health problems. Broken hearts. Loved ones who make pool decisions affecting you. All of it. But our spirits can remain steadfast and we can rise above them. Hard? Yes. Impossible? Not with the Lord! Worth it? Absolutely!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)