When one thinks about god's love and its transforming power, I'm not sure that pain is the first thing that comes to mind. And yet, the greatest act of god's love was shown on the cross; could anything be more painful? Jesus endured extreme physical pain, yet greater still was the emotional and spiritual pain he endured being separated from his father for three days. What pain the Father must have felt orchestrating this act? And the result? The greatest love and act of sacrifice one can ever know and experience. As the earth and heavens shook, as the veil was torn, as Jesus conquered death, something inexplicably beautiful and mysterious was born. We continue to reap the benefits today.
For about the past year and a half, I've been in a wilderness season, filled with heartache, pain, frustration, and lots of other things that human nature instinctively tries to fight and flee from. In the tears I have shed and the pain I have wrestled with, I have known a love far greater than I knew before. The Lord met me there, and continues to do so. In the moments of stillness where I seek His face for comfort, He comes. In the moments when I am a brute beast lashing out at Him because I do not understand, He is there - taking it all in...and in time, bringing me back to peace. In the times I want to walk away from Him, He's given me the strength to worship and praise Him.
No doubt I have a very long way to go. But, for me the love of god has been manifested in presence. His presence has enabled me to soften, to see others in a new light. To be more compassionate to their pain. To pray more expectantly. To be more gracious. As I experience more of God's love, He makes me want to love others more - to love them better. That looks different in different situations and sometimes I get it wrong. I am reminded that, "to whom much is given, much is required." As he pours out his tender mercy and love to me, He's showing me how to pour it out to those around me.
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