Look at the whole board

While I'm on the dream kick, I have to share this clip.  I've been watching The West Wing on Netflix and loooooooooving every minute of it.  I shed a few tears when I watched this the other night.  Background: the older guy is the President; the younger guy is part of the senior staff.  The President was given a few chess sets from a Prime Minister.  He gives Sam a chess set and they've been playing off and on all day.  The President has let Sam on the inside on an issue.

Dream BIG

We had a "dreaming session" last week in our small group -- to dream for the new year and beyond.  Was really good and thought I'd share.

Intro/follow up to what we'd discussed previously:

• Vulnerability (along with community) is a non-negotiable with Jesus.
• Why do we avoid being vulnerable? 
• Why is vulnerability worth it?
• How does this affect your relationship with Jesus?
• Vulnerability is scary but even when you get hurt, you can take it to the Lord.
• Will you let disappointments/frustrations/circumstances affect how you see God?
• Hardship can make God seem really small.  

HOPE SHINES BRIGHT IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY.

Read the introduction to Jesus Today.

Found a short synopsis of that here: http://jmcgrathart.blogspot.com/2012/11/just-read-this-article-about-gal-who.html.

• Painful process leads us to healing.
• Where is your hope?
• Where is your dream?
• Are you afraid to verbalize your dream?
• When you're hurt out of vulnerability and lose hope because of circumstances, you get away from the calling God has on your life.
• Moses had a calling.  He got side tracked.  But in the end, God worked it out.
• We have to take steps, but God does the Work.

A lot of this came from the book, The Dream Giver; I just finished reading it last night.  

Rennie asked us these questions:

1. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM?
   Questions to help you figure this out:
   What did you want to be when you grew up?  Who do you admire most?  What do you love to do the most?  Who do you love the most?  What do you feel the most called to do?  When do you feel the most fulfilled?  If money wasn't an issue, what would you do?
2. WHAT ARE THE THINGS GETTING IN THE WAY OF YOUR DREAMS?
   Is it money, fear, getting out of your comfort zone, playing it safe, feel unqualified, feel alone, etc?
3. IF FEAR WAS A PART OF YOUR REASONS, WHAT YOU THINK ARE YOUR LIMITS ARE OFTEN JUST THE STARTING POINTS.
4. WHO ARE THE BULLIES TO YOUR DREAM?
5. WHO ARE YOUR LIFE-GIVERS/SUPPORTERS?
6. WHO HELPS YOU PURSUE YOUR DREAM?
   Who will really walk beside you and help make this dream become a reality?
7. THINK ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY SO FAR...HAS IT FELT LENGTHY?
   When you're in the desert, what are you learning?  What have you learned?  
8. ARE YOU WILLING TO SURRENDER YOUR DREAM BACK TO GOD?
   Sometimes we take what the Lord gives us and morph it into something else, something we want/think we want.
   Red flags to that: seems selfish, builds your reputation and dishonors God, gets corrupted, etc.
   Root of an un-surrendered dream: you don't believe God will give you good things or you don't believe He'll make your dream come true.  Therefore, you hold on tightly to something -- accepting something smaller than what the Lord has in store for you.

For me, it was really good to think through these things and jot them down. Hope it will be for you, too!

Freedom to reveal

Jenn sent this quote to me the other day and I LOVE it:

On the cross in the final moments of his suffering Jesus asked my god my god why have you forsaken.me? In that one brief moment Jesus gave all of humankind permission to question god on the difficult moments of life. How powerful and freeing it is to know that we can reveal our deepest struggles to our god without fear?

Dip and spreader anyone?

I love the way the Lord works.  I was given a gift yesterday, pictured below:

These things aren't so much my style, but the giver of this gift told me I could get rid of it in a year.  Ha!  However, this was my word for the year: HOPE.  And so it sits proudly in my office...a reminder of things to come.

A new year, a new hope?

Happy New Year!

I haven't felt like writing much over the past few months.  Clearly.  And, I'm not sure how much I feel like writing today, rather than feeling drawn to work out some of the thoughts roaming in this head of mine...

I won't lie to you internet, 2012 was a rough year.  Suffice it to say, I shed more tears last year than in any other year to date.  Don't get me wrong, my life is not that terrible.  But, when it's your head and heart that ache and groan over things that are and the things that are not, it matters a lot to you...and it is hard.

AND, there were some really great and really fun things about the year that I won't forget because they have left lasting imprints on my heart, and hopefully my life.  But overall, it was a hard year, especially emotionally.  Out of the hurt and darkness came some really good time with the Lord.  I have definitely learned a lot about the presence of the Lord and what it means to meet him there.

I was very ready to put 2012 behind me and hopeful for what 2013 would bring - it had to be better than what I'd been wading through the months.  There was something in particular I'd hoped to resolve before the clock struck twelve.  It seemed possible to do so, but ended up not happening.  And the first week of this new year has brought a few more disappointments.  One bigger than the others, but when you're already tender, things that would normally be brushed off feel more like a boulders you have to shove up a hill.

Wow.  Is this the most uplifting thing you've ever read, or what?  But, I'm better at being honest that blowing sunshine.  Alas, I want things to be different, to be better - in my heart if not my circumstances.

I picked Isaiah 43:19 to be my verse for 2013.  "Behold, I am doing a NEW thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Don't you just love it?  Aren't you desperate for it to be true?  I am.

Green pastures

Courtney and I were talking this past Saturday morning and freedom in the Lord came up.  I remember in college being told that there is real freedom in discipline and obedience.  We will find freedom in the Lord when we learn to obey Him and do as we are called.

I see things differently now...  I no longer think that obedience and disciple produce freedom in Christ.  No, now I think that freedom in Christ produce obedience and discipline.

Galatians 5:1

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

The cross has to come first.  Because of the gospel, those whom are called are free - are freed from sin and slavery and free to do as we choose.  Yet, having a relationship with the Lord Jesus spurs us to live obedient lives.  Not so we can be good Christians (what is one anyway?) BUT so we have a more intimate relationship with the Lord.

I think it is so easy for us to get caught up in what we do and don't do.  This side of heaven, we will all fail.  We will not do as we should and we will do as we shouldn't.  A week or so ago, I was taking something before the Lord, and He said to me, "Elizabeth Ann.  I know you want to go and do.  I want you to learn to BE."  Such a hard, but important, lesson for me to learn.

I was excited - and chuckled a bit - when I read Jesus Calling later on that afternoon:

Ask and you shall receive

Since January, some friends and I have been serving supper to homeless people downtown on Sunday nights.  It started with two friends and I carrying around a pot of chili looking for folks to eat, and has turned into something really cool.  We meet in an old gas station parking lot and there are usually around 50 or so folks that come by to eat and hang out.

We've gotten to know a lot of the guys that come each week.  It's been really cool to meet a tiny portion of their overall physical needs, make friendships, pray over people, and hear their stories.

Back in March, I flew in from Nicaragua at midnight on my birthday.  After some time out with friends, a bit of sleep, and church, I cooked supper and feared I'd be the only one serving that Sunday night.  Completely out of the blue, this guy pulled up and dropped off a bunch of food.  He'd seen us and wanted to help out.  He said he couldn't stay to help serve because it was his birthday and he had plans.  We were birthday twins!

Turns out, he's a chef.  Since March, he's cooked a few meals for us and has always been willing to help.  I've been busier than normal lately and have missed the past few Sunday's downtown.  Last Thursday, I sat in my office thinking about who would cook this Sunday?  I could do it, but knew I'd be exhausted and it would stress me out more than make me glad to serve.  (Does that ever happen to you?)  (As I've been learning more and more about being in the presence of the Lord, a by-product has been learning about rest and more freedom to know my boundaries.)  Anywho, Thursday I was thinking about it and getting a bit stressed out.  Later in the day, I took it to the Lord.  Casually, almost.  And you know what?

"Email Heath" was the Lord's response.  Hmmm...I hadn't seen him in months and it was really last minute to ask.  But, I emailed him anyway and his response blew me away.  Not only was he willing to cook food for Sunday, but he and his friends had a fundraiser planned for that Saturday.  Wow.  He and his friends asked their friends to bring clothes, dry food goods, and cash to help people downtown.

He brought his rugby team buddies downtown last night and they had TONS of dry food and clothes for people to take.  Heath cooked a great meal.  They were all really cool and will hopefully be back.

I was really blown away by the provision of the Lord last night.  It was a beautiful picture of entrusting something to God and watching Him go above and beyond anything I was planning to ask for.