So close to TGIF

I woke up this morning sure it was Friday.  Realizing it was Thursday was a tough 2 second blow.  I grabbed pants out of my dirty clothes bin and tossed them on, knowing they couldn't be any more wrinkled.  (I am wearing a new shirt that is cute.)  Got to work and forced myself to eat yogurt.  A few bites in, it was discarded and a Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit was purchased.  Well worth the calories today.

It's getting close to noon and I'm still not fully in the game yet.

The good thing is, there's tomorrow.  And tomorrow actually is Friday.

Moses

I'm not sure who, if anyone, reads this blog, so I'm not expecting anything grand from this post, but what the hell?  I've been following the Livesay's blog since Haiti's earthquake in 2011.  Moses was dropped off at their gate almost two months ago and they've been caring for him ever since.  He most likely has cerebral palsy and is now looking to be adopted...

If you have any interest in adopting him or know someone who might, find more information here.

Mad Men

Yes, I know I'm a bit late getting on this bandwagon, but seriously, years later I now understand what all the fuss is about.  Mad Men is all that it was cracked up to be.

Family Funny

Mom never/rarely goes to Target.  But I just got a call from her:

Mom: Hey, did you return a dress to Target?  Red.  Extra small.
Me: Yes.  Yesterday.  Why?
Mom:  Well I happened to be in Target and saw a red dress and got it for you.  And the check out girl said it was an online purchase returned to the store...and I wondered if it was you that bought it.
Me:  Totally was.

How hilarious is that?  And of course I paid like $25 online; mom got it for $6.

Camp St. Christopher

I had the luxury of spending Friday night at Camp St. Christopher on Seabrook Island.  300 acres of beach and nature trails.  It is pristine and quiet and so gorgeous.

Half the Sky

Parts of this book made me want to throw up.  I saw it on a blog and decided to read it.  The authors give detailed accounts of tragedies that happen to women all across the world.  They also give pictures of hope and how change is possible.  Folks from George Clooney to Tom Brokaw praise it.

I find it hard to summarize or select a few words from the book to adequately do it justice.  From this article: “Half the Sky” tackles atrocities and indignities from sex trafficking to maternal mortality, from obstetric fistulas to acid attacks, and absorbing the fusillade of horrors can feel like an assault of its own. But the poignant portraits of survivors humanize the issues, divulging facts that moral outrage might otherwise eclipse. ... Throughout, Kristof and WuDunn show faith in the capacity of ordinary citizens, including Americans, to initiate change — gutsy at a time when many Westerners who voice concern are ritually accused of interfering. Mingling tales of woe with testimonials to people power, the authors explain how tragedy can spawn opportunity. Their hope: “To recruit you to join an incipient movement to emancipate women.”

Many of the stories in this book are wrenching, but keep in mind this central truth: women aren't the problem but the solution.  The plight of girls is no more a tragedy than an opportunity (xviii).

True statement

Stole this from Betsy.

Hardcore

Mom and I went fishing on Sunday; it was a great way to end a fun and low-key weekend.  Though the temperatures may have been in the 70's, the sun didn't come out and it was quite chilly.  I wore fleece pants and a down puffy coat over my bathing suit.  I was pretty proud of us for toughing it out in the cold.  We didn't catch any fish (I think they were hiding due to the cold!), but we had a great time.  Cold or not, the scenery is still beautiful.

The Unicorn Story

After referencing this story in yesterday's post, I found the email and giggled as I read through it.  I'm waiting for the day Leigh publishes a book filled with her brilliant shenanigans.  Hope you find it as humorous as I do.

The History of the Unicorn and Our Calling to Univangelism

an Essay by A. A. Stuckey, Mid. East/Unicorn Studies

Prior to the time of Noah, the idea of a horned horse animal would have been completely disregarded. For indeed, there was no such thing, nor were there even fables wild enough to imagine the winsome creature we now know to be the unicorn. Yes, all unicorns can trace their roots back to good ole Noah, for that is where they find their beginnings.

As we all know, Noah was expected to bring all animals two by two to the ark, "...of every living thing, of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. Of the birds according to their kinds, and of the animals according to their kinds, of every creeping thing of the ground according to its kind, to of every kind shall come in to you, to keep them alive" (Genesis 6.19, 20 NRSV). So, being the righteous man he was, Noah brought two of every animal and creature into his ark, including white stallions and mountain goats. Now, forty days is a long time for an animal to suppress it's animalistic desires, and Patriarch Ballion, the male white stallion, was in an argument with his female counterpart. It seems that Ballion the Stallion told Lallion, his wife, that she looked fat in her new saddle (certainly a poor decision on Ballion's part). Likewise, it seemed that Jill the female goat was (excuse my crassness and the pun) a bit horny, and her male counterpart, being good friends with Lallion, had chosen to spend his time wooing Lallion (for she was a beautiful horse) instead of paying attention to Jill.

Being of the same general species, Ballion and Jill were kept in the same wing of the ark, and distraught over their ill-fortune, the two became quick best friends. No one would have ever guessed the fate that befell them, for on day 31, after a night of too much horse feed, Ballion made a cuckold of himself, and a pregnancy ensued.

Nine months later, Przybyszewska was born. While Przybyszewska resembled both Ballion and Jill, there was one prominent, yet strange, feature that could not be overlooked. Przybyszewska did not have two curled horns as most goats/rams do, nor was his forehead completely smooth as a stallion. Indeed, Przybyszewska had only one curled horn, smack in the center of his forehead. Przybyszewska lived a happy life, having a child with his half sister Morocco (Morocco had been the first post-flood child born to Ballion and Lallion). This child, a female named Macaroni, still had the one singular horn, but it had much less of a twist to it. On top of that, Macaroni loved carpentry, but she did not use a typical carpenter's tools, she carved everything using her horn. Eventually, as Macaroni honed her carpentry skills, her horn developed from a curl to a perfect (and deadly sharp) horn. Throughout her life Macaroni took many lovers, for her lascivious desires overtook her. By the time of her death, Macaroni had 47 children, all born with one sharply pointed horn on its forehead.

Macaroni had been a beautiful creature, but as her kind grew in number they became less and less accepted within the greater world community. Desperate for acceptance, the leader among Macaroni's children, Kraft, signed his soul over to Satan in exchange for magical skills. Hence the beginning of a lost community. Calling themselves "Macaroni's Children of the Corn" (these mystical creatures really liked all things involving corn, even corn mazes), the community began reeking havoc on the greater Biblical community, and, by the time of Christ, they were forced into hiding to avoid persecution.

Seeking refuge outside of Antioch, Macaroni's Children of the Corn came to be known as "unicorns" (an obvious name, uni referring to their recognition of the one "uni" evil spirit Satan who gave them the gifts of magic and corn referring to their deep love of corn). By the 15th century a large group of unicorns were found living with the Navajo and Apache Indians on the plains of the new Americas. Their migration from Antioch to the Americas is not well documented, but most uni-historians speculate they migrated on homemade boats. The unicorns were received well by the Indians, who were attracted to the magical powers of the unicorns. But the arrival of Europeans brought much calamity upon the unicorn population, whom were again forced to flee. From that time until today unicorns have been known to be found in caves throughout the land. In Clinton many unicorns can be found dwelling in the basement of Belk (did you ever wonder what that side door leads to? well unicorn land of course).

All this to say that the plight of the unicorn has been heavy on my heart as of late. Unicorns once sold their soul to Satan and continue to live in magical sin. As you know "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"... certainly this does not exclude unicorns! They too are hungry for grace! Every magical spell is a desperate cry for the cross. Here is a population of animals who have never even heard the Gospel. Their hearts are open, the challenge is convincing them so set aside their prideful magic loving ways and turn to the Cross.

In conclusion, evangelism to the unicorns is a necessary step to take in the advancement of the Kingdom.

Fighting the battle,

Leigh

Below is a picture of Macaroni and one of her children, Jilly (known as "the timid")

This one's for you, Josh Vickery

I'm not sure if I can do this story justice, but I'm going to give it my all.  Last November, Maggie went to a baby shower for one of her co-workers.  Naturally, there was a cake.  Quite unnaturally, there was a black baby made out of fondant icing on top of the cake.  Using her iPhone skills, Maggie snapped a pic and emailed out to a few that she knew would laugh as hard as she did.  Exhibit A:

The story quickly became a favorite and Maggie shared the humor at our table at Mary Alice & Steven's rehearsal dinner.  Josh Vickery had a few tears rolling down his cheeks from laughing so hard.  Any time one of us goes to a baby shower, we joke about having a black icing baby.  

Today my department was throwing a baby shower for a co-worker I barely know.  Just before I left the office, Maggie and I joked about there being a black icing baby.  I showed up late to the shower because I was coming from another meeting.  Since I was late I sat with folks I didn't know.  Sure, that could be an opportunity to make new friends, but I wasn't up for it.  I piled my tiny plate high (per usual) and was disappointed greatly after taking a big bite of what I presumed to be mac-n-cheese.  It tasted funny, fishy even.  

My luck changed when a seat opened up next to my pals there.  First things first, what is going on with this mac?  Turns out, it was a macaroni salad...with crab.  Let's be honest, shall we?  This was faux crab and it was not delicious.  Thankfully, they had fruit and chicken wings and chips.  I remembered the baby!  I asked my co-workers to lean in so I could tell them a story, Maggie's story.  I didn't even finish the story when they start laughing with a glimmer in their eyes.  "EA?!  You haven't seen this cake, have you?!"  

NO!  Could it be?!  

YES!  YES!  A black baby made of icing!  

I got a picture, Exhibit B, below.  Interestingly enough, no one thought it was odd that I took the pic.  

I immediately text Maggie the picture.  She tells Courtney.  Neither of them believe me.  My boss offers to sign a document attesting to the black baby icing.  Just when you think it's an ordinary Thursday, a Wal-Mart cake and a baby made of icing makes life all the more enjoyable.  

(Yes, the baby is the same!  Apparently Wal-Mart and Sam's Club have a thing for icing babies.)

Little Hipsters

My friend Leigh is incredibly talented.  Two Master's degrees from Princeton, plays a myriad of musical instruments, and is the best writer I know personally.  Seriously, remind me to post her unicorn story.  Yesterday we had this brief conversation:


Leigh:  ea i've just written an incredible song
Me:  really??? can you send it to me?
Leigh:  it's called "little hipsters" and it's to the tune of "little boxes"
Me:  loooooooooooove it. send me the lyrics please
Leigh: okay it's a work in progress but i'll forward it along


For those of you fellow heathens that also used to watch Weeds, you'll recognize Little Boxes as the theme song.  I love her version and it is now sufficiently stuck in my head.  There's talk of her recording it... 

“Little Hipsters”

Little hipsters on their fixed gears

Little hipsters made of irony

Little hipsters on their fixed gears

Little hipsters all the same.

There’s a white one and a white one

and a white one, look, an Asian one!

And they’re all made out of irony

And they all look just the same.

All the hipsters in their city lofts

All got liberal arts degrees

where they studied grammatology

and all started a band.

And there’s raconteurs and bon vivants

and American Apparel employees

and they’re all made out of irony

and they all look just the same.

And they listen to their record players

and drink up all their microbrew

but they don’t have hipster children

‘till they’re forty-two.

And the children go to outdoor shows

and then to the university

where they study business

so they can get out of debt.

And the boys leave to work at banks

and they listen to soft rock

in boxes devoid of irony

and looking just the same.

There’s a white one and a white one

and a white one, look! an Asian one,

and they’re all made from hipsters

and they all look just the same. 

For the correct tune, here is Little Boxes:

Paint Chip Art

Maggie showed me this a few weeks ago and I loved the idea of making art from paint chips.  I'm not very crafty, but this was super easy to do and looks quite polished in the end.  I got some inexpensive frames and painted them white.  Cut up the paint chip cards and taped them on the back of the paper insert that comes in the frame.  At some point, I'd also like to do a bigger one with large paint chips.

This one was made with all whites/tans and a pop of dark coral:

I made this one for my room using my prominent colors: blues and greens:

And this one was made using ROY G BIV for Krissie's art classroom:

The pictures are less-than-stellar, but you get the idea.

A Tuesday Morning Purchase

I just bought a ticket to visit my brother and sister-in-law in Chicago in October!  Really excited!

The funny part?  I got a sweet deal out of Myrtle Beach on Spirit.  BUT they charge you for bags -- even a carry on.  Both ways.  Which is annoying on principal if nothing else.  So, I think I'm going to attempt to pack in a book bag!  If I can't do it, I'll just pay for the bags at the airport.  But if I can do, I will be so proud of myself.

Feels like Home

This past weekend, I was at one of my favorite places on earth, with some of my favorite people, learning more about what is most important: Jesus.  It doesn't get much better than that.  Windy Gap is good for my soul; it feels like home.  Sunday morning I read these verses and could think of nothing else but WG:

Genesis 28:15,17

(God speaking) "Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land.  For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."  ... And he (Jacob) was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place!  This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven."

Hump Day Horror

Looks like I just found another grey hair!  Blerg!

Another summer

I suppose summer is technically over with the passing of Labor Day.  This makes me a bit sad as it is my most favorite season.  Yet, I'm still holding out for a few more trips to the beach and deepening my tan lines.  I had a really good Labor Day weekend filled with sun and sand, time with sweet friends, and simple, yet tasty cuisine, including a few late night grilled cheeses.  It was the best way to end a season.

As I walked last night, I reflected on this summer and was reminded of many sweet things that stood out to me:  life-changing trip to Haiti, fun trip to Dallas, celebrating Mary Glenn and Jule, continuing to learn how privileged I am, sunny days on the beach/at the pool/fishing that could have gone on forever, and lots of time with good friends and family.  Sure there were a few ups and downs (aren't there always?), but overall it felt like I was in a good rhythm of life.  For that, I am thankful.

Just what I needed

to get hooked on another TV show.  Four episodes last night; yes!  This clip of highlights is good but most likely boot-legged because everything is reversed (what should be on the right side is on the left, etc.)