National Lampoon's Spring Break Trip: Part 2 - The Car Ride

The 5 of us met in Aiken to depart on this journey. Aimee and I did not have cars our first two years of college. Anette did not bring a car from Finland. Krissie had a car that wasn't equipped to travel more than 2 hours. That left us with Courtney's Honda Civic. Her mom graciously switched cars with Courtney for the week and lent us her Honda Accord, in order for us to have more room. We filled the trunk to the brim and then loaded the rest of our goodies in a Turtle car carrier. We were quite the motley crew. To date, we're the only college kids I know that have used a Turtle car carrier.

Some of us were not in excellent moods. No names have to be mentioned, but I will say that this made for a LONG drive down to Orlando. The most positive memories of the trip revolve around music and food. We listened to every kind of music you can imagine on the trip down there: classic rock, pop, Christian, rap, endless numbers of mixes, and even Ace of Base to make Anette feel a bit more welcome. We were also loaded up with snacks for the long ride down there and most likely gained several pounds from the trip alone.

Anette was basically mute the entire trip, with the exception of laughing every time we said the phrase "Turtle car carrier" and "yeah, I could try that" when we offered her a snack that was new to her Finnish eyes. Homegirl was like a toothpick and devoured gummy worms, M&M's, Skittels, chips, etc. with us like the big girls that we were. Then she proceeded to tell us that Americans ate much more unhealthy than her people. You think? And no American cultural experience would be complete without stopping at fine eating establishments like Crystal Burger. No, I'm not kidding and yes, it was delicious.

I think Aiken to Orlando is about a 7 hour trip. Add in stops for gas and meals, we figured it would take us 8-9 hours. Not terrible. Well after many, many hours in the car, we hit a traffic jam. Now, keep in mind that some trip members were still acting a tiny bit unpleasant. And some trip members were becoming increasingly ancy and hyper. Yes, I'll be honest, I was in the latter category. Back to the traffic jam...we are just sitting still. Going nowhere.

Aimee and I had to go to the bathroom and so naturally we get out of the car to find somewhere to use a bathroom. We are literally walking down the highway looking for somewhere to potty. Of course we see this posh travel bus, and knock on the door. We ask them if we can use their restroom; we are shot down. Can you imagine?!? Eventually, we walk down the embankment and relieve ourselves. On the way back to the car, we see something more ridiculous than our Turtle car carrier. We see a van with a 50 gallon trash can fastened to the top of it, via twine rope, and has their junk piled in it. Yes, that's right, folks, these people made their own Turtle car carrier. When we eventually made it back to our car, our friends were less than thrilled that we'd been wondering down the highway making buddies. (I guess it was pretty unsafe. Oops!)

We eventually get moving again and a few hours later, we are get really close to Grandpa's house. We are tired and ready for bed and looking forward to entering the mecca that is the resort we are staying in for the week. We pass a billboard which prompts this conversation:

Courtney: Summit Acres, huh? G'momma and G'daddy almost moved to one of those Summit neighborhoods in Spartanburg, but they didn't. Instead they added on to their house and call that the "Summit room."
(Aimee starts laughing quietly and then the laughter becomes uncontrollable.)
Courtney: Aimee, what are you laughing at?
Aimee: Well, that's where we're staying.
Courtney, Krissie, EA: What?!?!
Aimee: Yeah, I told you that. Right?
Courtney, Krissie, EA: Nope!
Aimee: Yeah, that's where Grandpa lives. I thought I told you guys that...

Everyone erupts in laughter.

I think to myself: Awesome. This trip keeps getting better and better...

Now laughing and perplexed, we pull into the old folks' complex and try to get our guest pass. We let the guy know that we are guests of John and Jean. The guy tells us there are no people living there named "John and Jean, but there are Jack and Jill." WTF? We take the guest pass and get going. Even more perplexed than we rolled into Summit Acres.

We FINALLY arrive to the house and are unloading the car. The story I'm about to tell you makes me laugh just thinking about it and I hope I do it justice.

We set up a system to unpack the car AND the Turtle car carrier. Courtney was unloading the goods, handing them to me, and I'd pass them off to Krissie, Aimee, and Anette to take them inside. It was going quite smoothly in the beginning. However, Courtney suddenly gets a bit frustrated. She starts pulling out black trash bags taped up from the car carrier and is quite verbose about how she isn't a fan of Aimee packing in these.

Courtney: Geeze. Why in the hell would Aimee pack in trash bags?
EA: (While laughing so hard I may or may not have tinkled a bit.) Court...
Courtney: I mean, its fine if she doesn't have Vera Bradley...
EA: Court...
Courtney: But there is NO reason for this.
EA: Court...stop! (Still laughing so that I can barely breathe.)
Courtney: EA, I'm serious. This is ridiculous.
EA: ANETTE!
Courtney: What? Oh, shit.
EA: Yeah, those are HER bags...
Courtney: Damn it!

Apparently Anette has thick skin.

We get settled for bed. Courtney and I on the pull out sofa in the den. All the privacy one could ask for via a Japanese screen. Krissie, Anette, and Aimee were in the guest room. After our travels a good night's sleep was more than welcomed!